She was ready.

She was ready to go, but no matter how ready she was and no matter how much any of us anticipated it, I wasn't ready to let her go, just like how I was never ready to let him go.

10.19.96 Born into this life as beautiful as can be. so beautiful...

Ling Ling,

Do you remember when you used to come visit you in Pennsylvania when you were still too young to be brought home? Do you remember how I used to play with you in my lap when I was but a toddler? Remember how we used to run around all over the playground together? Do you remember that time where you were too excited and dragged me halfway across the playground?

Do you remember all those times we would walk you? Remember Benji? Do you remember when you used to come visit us? Remember the times I would come and sit with you in the basement? Remember when I used to complain to you when I got frustrated? Remember how you would stare at me with your big brown eyes? How you would roll onto your belly when you wanted to cheer me up?

Remember that last Saturday I came over to see you? Did you know then? Did you know? Did you know that that was the last time I would ever get to see your beautiful face?

Do you remember me now that you're gone? Will you remember me?

Ling Ling, you were the most beautiful dog in the world. You were the greatest friend anyone could ever have and I love you with my whole heart. We grew up together. I'll miss you so much. Please don't forget.

Sunday, January 24, 2010. She knew. She'd known. She insisted on walking through the rooms of the house. She would take lingering glances in every direction. She wasn't curious. She knew where everything was or should be. She was just trying to burn into her memory the things she would miss when she left. She'd known but she was ready to let go. And then she was gone.

I didn't know it would be so soon. I just saw her on Saturday. She walked around with me in the basement. I gave her a treat and sat down next to her while she rested in her bed. Maybe I should've known. She looked sad. But she licked my arms reassuringly. I think she wanted me to be strong. She watched me go. Other days she would stay in bed. That day she followed me to the steps and watched after me. She must've known. I should've known.

But I wasn't ready.

Monday, January 25, 2010. They found you stiff with rigor mortis. Beautiful eyes, dull. Cold. So cold. You knew you were going. You knew you would miss us. It hurt to let us go, but you were ready. You were strong to the end.

You wanted us to be strong. But how can I be? I wasn't ready. I wasn't ready when Benji left. I certainly wasn't ready when you left. Beautiful dogs... how could we let you go?

She was ready to go, but no matter how ready she was and no matter how much any of us anticipated it, I wasn't ready to let her go, just like how I was never ready to let him go. But that's how life is, right? We live, we laugh, we love, we cry, we die.

No matter how much we hang on... no matter how unprepared we are, everyone and everything has a time to go. Cry, but never forget. Be strong.

... you will be missed.

May she rest in peace. 10.19.96 - 01.25.10 おやすみ Good night, my beautiful. Until we meet again.

My Fairytale...

...consists nothing of school. yet lo and behold I have class five days a week xD. I would love to read more but there's no time for that. Blogs will probably be scarce through the semester, but hey when I do... you'll know when I do :p

On a side note, I thought I'd share that I am in love with angels! Not the ones from Legion, of course, but you know, the really pretty ones with white wings and beautiful voices and whatnot :p [random ^_^] but yeah... I should probably stop here 'cuz I need to head over to class soon!

Est-ce que vous êtes folle?

Well, the first day of school has come to an end... and well... I can't help but feel overwhelmed.

Monday through Thursday, school starts basically either at 7:35 or 8:00. Waking up is.... well... waking up -_-'' It takes me quite some time to actually regain full consciousness to sit up and think oh hey, I should probably get ready. Unless... I'm late. haha... then, I just jump out of bed after looking at the time and like pull on whatever clothing is closest, shove my feet into socks and whichever pair of shoes is easiest to put on, and well i grab my bag and run! ^_^ what a fun routine huh? :p

This morning, it took a while to get used to waking up extra early since for the past month I've been sleeping in and waking mostly at 12:00. I set five alarms on my phone and was a bit disoriented when groping around in the dark to stop the irritating sounds. XDD My sister later told me that I only woke to the third alarm. hahas. I guess I'm a deep sleeper.

The first class of the day was Biochem with Dr. Stephani! Two hours long! It's okay since I get to see lots of people I know in that class. However that excited mode I was in was immediately put out when my arch nemesis, who I shall not name, decided to sit down next to my two friends, Jackey and Danny, immediately not giving me or my other friend Li a chance to take a seat next to them. (She's not my arch nemesis btw. and it would take forever to explain the situation so let's not ^_^) We settled for sitting a row further up.

Then, the class started! To me, time flew. But that was probably due to the fact that I was doodling in my notebook. Li, however, felt the full effects, with her 15 million yawns which she failed to stifle! (hehe...) The professor kind of wanders off on tangents but it's not so bad as sometimes the things he says are interesting. The only thing I'm worried about is his exams. And I really hope to pull all A's this semester. Li tells me that he has terrible ratings and that a lot of people don't think he's that great. To tell the truth, I am scared. But hey, who says you can't get an A if the prof. has bad ratings? It's not impossible and well, shoot for the stars, people! We got this! (hopefully... :p )

The class after biochem was Intro to Public Health with Dr. Baturay, and let's just say this class is going to be hell to keep up with. It's not that the material is hard. It's more like she has a powerpoint up from which she reads directly and then jumps to the next page without giving much time for us to copy notes. And well, if we miss it then too bad because she doesn't post the powerpoints up for us to review. She also had terrible ratings. But I'm sure once we figure out how to keep up we'll be able to pull through. Li and I were discussing recording if possible or taking pics of the slides. haha. but yeah, apparently Baturay reminds Li of Ms. Arcuri from BTHS. XDD She's supposedly a legend at my former high school. hahas. Either way, I'm sure we can do this too!

Last but not least, the class I ended with was Metaphysics with Prof. Fernandez! He has a hell of a sense of humor and well I'm really looking forward to this class. I really hope to pass this class with flying colors, but of course you never know... There's two pop quizzes, two papers, and two exams that go into final grades. Despite the workload that seems to be presented, I think I can do it! Also, it was nice to end the day with a pretty fun class. And well hey, at least I didn't end all gloomy and tired like last semester!

However, tomorrow isn't looking very good T_T Anatomy&Physiology with Dr. Carroll, Pharmacoeconomics with Dr. Khan, and Biomed Lab. sigh* A&P is Carroll's forte so we gotta know our stuff if we want A's. Khan got very very very bad ratings. And Biomed Lab just seems to be too much work. gahhhh...

This is the part where I ask myself, Est-ce que vous êtes folle? (French for: Are you insane?) hehe... I feel like I'm already drowning from anxiety and our second day has yet to begin. And I certainly regret choosing this block schedule. I wish I had better teachers, but it's not something we can help, you know? And that's when I recalled something a really good friend blogged about:

" [...] When everything looks down, never give up. Things may look bad now, but you can always improve on them. regrets and mistakes are only stepping stones to become a better person. Even id the road before you is broken, that just means that you now have to repair it. Never. Give. Up."
- Alger (If you're reading this, thanks! hehe. you really helped pick me up!) :D

Never give up! That is something I want to stay with me this new year! I want to perservere no matter how bad the professors seem. I want to be able to get really good grades, graduate from this program, and then travel to Japan and other Asian countries like Hong Kong and Taiwan. It's good to dream sometimes ;D hehe....

Okay kiddies, time for bed. But one last thing: WE GOT THIS! Let's all do our best! and Never. Ever. Give. Up! ^_^ Looking forward to another day, to more opportunties, and of course a trip to Japan! And with that in mind: Est-ce que vous êtes folle? Non! Bonne nuit. Au revoir :p

Final Fantasy VII Advent Children!

A strange disease is decimating the land and it's up to the hero Cloud to emerge from solitude and defeat a new breed of enemy in the computer animated feature that picks up where Final Fantasy VII left off. It has been two years since the events of Final Fantasy VII, and though the ruins of Midgar still stand to show the sacrifices made for peace, a new threat to mankind has arrived. With the citizens of the countryside falling ill and old enemies rising from the ashes to seek revenge, Cloud must leap back into action and help his fellow friends lest his solitude leave all of mankind vulnerable to another devastating attack.

Even if you have not played Final Fantasy VII, which I have not, you will still absolutely love this movie! As I've mentioned before I am in love with the graphics that Square Enix seems to constantly provide. This movie was released quite some time ago but it is worth watching over and over and over again. hehe... forgive me. i am seriously in love with Final Fantasy graphics :p

By the way, Cloud, the protagonist, although quite effeminate, is very good looking in my terms. The antagonists aren't that bad either. I just love the way they all look! XDD

Did I already mention? The graphics are to die for! hehe. same kind of graphics used for up and coming final fantasy games that I've mentioned in previous posts!

Daybreakers

Two-time Academy Award nominee® Ethan Hawke plays Edward Dalton, a researcher in the year 2019, in which an unknown plague has transformed the world's population into vampires. As the human population nears extinction, vampires must capture and farm every remaining human, or find a blood substitute before time runs out. However, a covert group of vampires makes a remarkable discovery, one which has the power to save the human race.

So I finally got a chance to watch Daybreakers with my friends earlier in the day. It was a pretty gruesome and gory film. It wasn't as great as I had expected, but overall it was a pretty good film. I would probably give this movie a 6.5 out of 10.

Warning *there might be spoilers. apologies in advance*

Daybreakers started quite slowly for me. For like the first 20 minutes of the film, there wasn't much going on. You just kind of get a feel of the vampiric plague and the city's emptiness during the day. Then of course you see the productivity of the city skyrocket as night falls.

Lack of human blood turns chaotic and Edward Dalton (Ethan Hawke), head hematologist, is rushed to provide a blood substitute before the lack of blood is felt by all. Deadly creatures result from starvation and well, like I said, it gets pretty chaotic.

Some scenes here and there will make you jump out of your seats. The effects were pretty awesome, if you ask me. Oh and I must say they did a good job with the vampires, especially with the teeth and the amber eyes.

However, the ending proved to be quite lacking. I was expecting more, but it just simply ended. There's a cure. But how do they carry out the cure? How do they cure the whole world when there's deadly creatures on the loose?

All in all, this vampire film was one that I enjoyed for the most part. And I do love vampires :p just not too much the twilight kind. don't shoot me :p

Avatar

When his brother is killed in battle, paraplegic Marine Jake Sully decides to take his place in a mission on the distant world of Pandora. There he learns of greedy corporate figurehead Parker Selfridge's intentions of driving off the native humanoid "Na'vi" in order to mine for the precious material scattered throughout their rich woodland. In exchange for the spinal surgery that will fix his legs, Jake gathers intel for the cooperating military unit spearheaded by gung-ho Colonel Quaritch, while simultaneously attempting to infiltrate the Na'vi people with the use of an "avatar" identity. While Jake begins to bond with the native tribe and quickly falls in love with the beautiful alien Neytiri, the restless Colonel moves forward with his ruthless extermination tactics, forcing the soldier to take a stand - and fight back in an epic battle for the fate of Pandora.

Epic Movie.

It may have had a predictable story line but it was carried out brilliantly. I must applaud their graphics as well. This world which James Cameron has created is beautifully exotic and fascinating. A must see! It left me speechless.

Touch the Dark - Karen Chance

Touch the Dark
by Karen Chance

Blurb on the back of the Book:
Cassandra Palmer can see the future and communicate with spirits-talents that make her attractive to the dead and the undead. The ghosts of the dead aren't usually dangerous; they just like to talk...a lot. The undead are another matter.

Like any sensible girl, Cassie tries to avoid vampires. But when the bloodsucking Mafioso she escaped three years ago finds Cassie again with vengeance on his mind, she's forced to turn to the vampire Senate for protection. The undead senators won't help her for nothing, and Cassie finds herself working with one of their most powerful members, a dangerously seductive master vampire-and the price he demands may be more than Cassie is willing to pay...

Just finished rereading this one! And I must say it was as good as the first time reading it :p Another thriller by Karen Chance. Vampires, werewolves, war mages, witches, faeries! Oh my oh my! I absolutely love this series.

Touch the Dark is the first of the Cassandra Palmer series. Karen Chance does wonders with this enchanting book.

Did I mention Louis-Cesare is in this book?! I would learn to fence and speak French just for that sexy master vampire! ;x

Anyways, The leading role here goes to Cassandra Palmer who is a clairvoyant on the run! She is a witty one and well you just have to love her! The lead vampire in this story however is no longer Louis-Cesare but another "dangerously seductive master vampire," Mircea! Trust me, you will fall in love with the book and the characters!

Another great read. Well done Ms. Chance, I absolutely love your books!

Next in this series is Claimed by Shadow! Check out her other books and series here.

Final Fantasy XIII versus, I want you more!!

OH MY GOODNESS! Noctis, you are my definition of SEXY! wowowoww... I love the graphics. way to go Square Enix!!!

Final Fantasy XIII, I want you!

THIS IS AMAZING. Square Enix, you are awesome. http://www.finalfantasyxiii.com/

Death's Mistress - Karen Chance

Death's Mistress
by Karen Chance

Blurb on the back of the Book:
Dorina Basarab is a dhampir—half-human, half-vampire. Subject to uncontrollable rages, most dhampirs live very short, very violent lives. So far, Dory has managed to maintain her sanity by unleashing her anger on those demons and vampires who deserve killing.

Back home in Brooklyn after the demise of her insane uncle Dracula, Dory’s hoping her life is about to calm down. But then she gets some visitors. A friend wants Dory’s help in finding a magical Fey relic, and the gorgeous vampire, Louis-Cesare, is desperate to find his former mistress Christine.

Dory and Louis-Cesare quickly discover that the same master vampire Christine is bound to is also rumored to be in possession of the relic. But when the master vampire turns up dead, they realize that there’s more at stake than a missing mistress. Someone is killing vampire Senate members, and if Dory and Louis-Cesare can’t stop the murderer, they may be next…

Death's Mistress is the second of the Dorina Basarab series and I must say I'm in love with this book too. You have to tag along on this wild ride. The storyline is as thrilling as the last and the characters as sexy as the last!

You get to see Dory and Louis-Cesare back in action and well I'm still in love with them :] Dory has been running errands for her vampire father since she needs the money to pay the rent. However, he doesn't seem to be telling her everything she needs to know about certain errands, and well she's found herself in a dilemma and Louis-Cesare's sexy ass has just made her problems harder to deal with.

Not all is fun and games however. There's some serious crap happening with the vampire Senate and well the shit's about to hit the fan. The ending is quite a shocker and quite the unexpected.

Death's Mistress was a fun and thrilling read. And I absolutely cannot wait to read the next one! Did I mention, Louis-Cesare is one sexy ass vamp :] sigh... what I would give to be in Dorina's place :p

Preceding Death's Mistress in the Dorina Basarab series is Midnight's Daughter! Check out her other books and series here. Reviews for her other books and series should be up or coming soon!

Midnight's Daughter - Karen Chance

Midnight's Daughter
by Karen Chance

Blurb on the back of the Book:
Dorina Basarab is a dhampir—half-human, half-vampire. Subject to uncontrollable rages, most dhampirs live very short, very violent lives. So far, Dory has managed to maintain her sanity by unleashing her anger on those demons and vampires who deserve killing.

Now Dory’s vampire father has come back into her life. Her uncle Dracula (yes, the Dracula) infamous even among vampires for his cruelty and murderous ways, has escaped his prison. And her father wants Dory to work with the gorgeous master vampire Louis-Cesare to put him back there.

Vampires and dhampirs are mortal enemies, and Dory prefers to work alone. But Dracula is the only thing on earth that truly scares her, and when Dory has to go up against him, she’ll take all the help she can get…


This is one of my favorite books of all time.

Midnight's Daughter is the first book of it's series. It was a thrilling read and Ms. Chance's ability to create such a world where magic, love, lust and everything paranormal exist hand in hand is absolutely amazing!

I immediately fell in love with the heroine, Dory. She doesn't take orders from no one, but of course for a dhampir like her, things tend to get a little complicated. Especially when the vampire assigned to her is a gorgeous master vampire, with rich auburn curls and sexy blue eyes.

Dory's roommate has somehow disappeared and she will go to all extents to bring her back safe and sound. Her vampire father, of course chose this time to come back into her life and ask for her help. And well, it's an offer she can't refuse as he offers to use the resources that she does not have to help her in her search. The catch? She has to capture the infamous Dracula, which also happens to be her uncle! what a shocker huh?

And I must say, her assigned partner is one sexy ass vampire! I would absolutely fall head over heels for Louis-Cesare, if only he was real!

Be prepared to tag along on Dory's mission. It's one wild ride! By the way, not only vamps are involved. The fey can prove to be quite sexy as well. And well, some are just dangerous! You can't not fall in love with this story and it's fantastic characters that will have you addicted and demanding for more!

The next in the series is Death's Mistress! Check out her other books and series here. Reviews for her other books and series should be up or coming soon!

Another Weird Dreammmm~

Talk about weird...

It wasn't as clear as the last one and I'm already forgetting most parts, but here goes... hahas... a mini summary of my most recent dream:

My female boss was in love with me. She was confessing her love to me. She didn't care if I was with her for career benefits or just because I had feelings for her too. Even if I just wanted a higher position, she said she wouldn't mind as long as she gets to love me....

...scene change...

We were all packed and ready for vacation. A vacation to Japan! The trunk was full. Everyone's got smiles on their faces. Who doesn't wanna go to Japan? But I couldn't get rid of that feeling like I was forgetting something. Then it hit me! I forgot to bring socks! oh no! we had to go back and my parents were wondering what I was looking for...

hahas... first part was the most awkward ever! the second part makes me contemplate how I'm always forgetting a sock or two and maybe some shoes in my dreams. :p

Up and Coming Releases...

... that I'm waiting so anxiously for! There will probably be more but I probably couldn't find any info. Will update once I do! I absolutely love these series and especially these authors!

02.02.10 - FLIRT (Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter Series #18) by Laurell K. Hamilton

02.09.10 - First Drop of Crimson (Night Huntress World Series #1) by Jeaniene Frost

03.30.10 - Succubus Shadows (Georgina Kincaid Series #5) by Richelle Mead

04.27.10 - Burned (House of Night Series #7) by P.C. Cast & Kristin Cast

05.18.10 - Spirit Bound (Vampire Academy Series 5) by Richelle Mead

05.25.10 - Moon Sworn (Riley Jenson Guardian Series #9) by Keri Arthur

06.01.10 - Bullet (Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter Series #19) by Laurell K. Hamilton

07.27.10 - Eternal Kiss of Darkness (Night Huntress World #2) by Jeaniene Frost

Talk about weird dreams...

Since it's winter break for us college students, I've actually been able to get more sleep than four hours a night. And being able to sleep longer, I think I've finally gave my mind enough time to go into dream mode. Back when school was in, I did have dreams but they were rare and brief, or maybe I just don't remember. Recently, however, they're more abundant and more vivid and quite awkward. haha

Let's see, last night's....

It was a small bubble tea cafe. The interior was a warm yellow. They happened to be giving out complementary drinks, but those were limited, so it was first come first serve. My sisters were with me. There were others but I can't seem to remember. I was up and well, they offered me the last of the complementary drinks, but I ended up giving the free drink to my sister who was in line before me. I ended up chatting with the guy who was handing the drinks out. I can't remember what he looks like, but he was cute. I just remember thinking that. He was really cute. I was blushing...

...then the scene changed...

Somehow the cute guy was suddenly my boyfriend. I was browsing through shelves and shelves of books while he playfully tugged on my sleeves. I picked up a really adorable Christmas card but then remembered Christmas had passed sometime ago so I put it back down. He was hugging me from behind while I skimmed through a few pages of an interesting book. I was hoping my dad wasn't in view. I told him that my dad wouldn't like it if he saw. My dad doesn't like guys hanging all over me. He just laughed it off and continued to browse the shelves with his arm around my waist.

"Your father wouldn't mind. He likes me. Plus, look over there." He pointed in the directions of a seating set-up in the store.

I looked over, my father happened to be there flipping through some books of his own. He looked up, smiled, and waved. I was surprised. He wasn't upset to see I had a boyfriend or the fact that he was so close to me. I remember thinking, 'That's never happened before. My dad never liked my boyfriend. Oh well...'

...another scene change...

I couldn't seem to find him. He'd gone off somewhere but I couldn't find him. I was getting worried. However, I did manage to find my father with my sisters at this round table that we have in our kitchen. They were having steak for dinner. I was hungry so I asked to have some. After two slices I was very full. That was awkward, normally I would be able to eat more. But it's okay, I was more worried about looking for him. My dad asked me to sit around and chat. I squirmed in my seat, anxious. I don't remember what we talked about but was finally relieved to be away from the table, back on with my search.

...then the awkwardness begins ( for some reason I'm seeing everything my 'boyfriend' is. So this is his scene)...

Through my eyes, the surroundings looked strange. Everything seemed to be a bit fuzzy around the edges with a green tinge. 'What's this? What's wrong with my vision,' I was thinking to myself. Then I heard the sound of footsteps and in a hurry I went to find a hiding place. I was hiding from something. Something dangerous. 'What's going on..?' I felt quite disoriented. I felt something in my hand. I looked down to find myself holding something. It was a grenade. 'What am I doing holding this...?'

The footsteps drew nearer. I climbed on top of a laundry machine. I was hunched. Ready to strike whatever was threatening to take me away. They were coming down the stairs. They had guns in there hands. 'Oh my God. What's going on?' I was panic stricken. Then someone came forward. He looked different, strange even. His skin had this deathly pale glow, his eyes sunken.

I remember now. There was a zombie epidemic. This guy approaching me was a zombie. What was he doing with a group of humans with guns? Then he spoke. "It's okay, hand me your weapon. Everything will be alright."

I was shocked. Zombies don't speak. 'What's going on...' I handed him the dangerous weight in my hand. The men with guns went away. The zombie stayed behind. "How come you're speaking? How come the men haven't killed you? Aren't they hunting zombies? Aren't you one?"

"Well. Yeah I am one but like you, I managed to retain my consciousness. I'm not one of those homicidal zombies who attack everyone... and yes they're taking out zombies but just the crazy mindless ones who attack anyone and anything."

My heart stopped. '.... like me...' What did he mean? "What do you mean, like me?"

"Hey pal, sorry to break it to ya, but you're like me. And you've managed to retain your consciousness, so you're no threat. well, at least i hope not..."

He walked with me up the stairs. I was speechless... 'how... when...sigh....'

...and then the scene changes again. (i'm back in my own body.) but i seem to see what he's thinking too although my dream self doesn't... yeah it's kinda hard to explain... hahas. bear with me....

"Hey, where have you been? I've been looking all over for you. I was so worried with the breakout and all. I'm so glad your safe!" I hugged him.

'At least she doesn't see me differently. I hope she doesn't know what I've turned into. I don't want her to turn away from me after seeing the monster I've become,' he thought to himself.

He hugs me back, "Don't worry. I'm here now. Smile a bit." He gives me a kiss on the forehead.

I had to smile. He was back at my side. The love of my life. I would die if anything happened to him.


...then the scene is different... i'm seeing it third person...

Everyone's there. It seems to be some sort of a gathering to just hang around. Everyone's throwing blankets in the air and running around. It looked like fun. It probably was fun. My 'boyfriend' is there laughing. But he looks different. I'm with him. We were holding hands, laughing, running around.

And then I woke up...

Yeah so I have no idea what to make of it either XDD but I have to say it's quite awkward....